Hello 2013, nice to meet you.

I'm a failure when it comes to keeping New Year's resolutions. Heck, I'm lucky if I even bother making one. Usually, mine consist of laying in bed after staying up until midnight and watching the ball drop, feeling a little surge of emotion with the promise of getting to start all over, thinking of things I'd like to change about myself or others, and resolving to go on a diet and losing at least ten pounds by the summer, reading my Bible and spending time with God more often or being a better, more respectful, more submissive, more loving, more perfect Proverbs 31 style wife, blah blah blah; thoughts like that. Honestly, I think those things most nights before I fall asleep. Once I wake up, I've forgotten whatever it was I was thinking and it's back to the daily grind. Don't tell anyone. ;-) New Year's resolution... what's that?

This year, I actually thought about it most of the day on the first day of 2013. I also thought about what people really expect by making New Year's resolutions. Do they really think that just because you made this resolution, things are going to change over night and you're suddenly going to have that burning motivation to change how you've handled whatever walk of life you have? It seems a lot of people think that way. It would be nice to wake up on January 1st and no longer have an insatiable craving for a bag of Doritos so that you can lose that last ten pounds or to have a desire to actually want to get up a little earlier and do your devotions or to wake up and be married to an absolute Prince Charming version of your beloved husband, who makes it easy to be that perfect wife, instead of that imperfect man laying beside you. That would all probably make the motivation part of it easier, huh? Sure, there's a few overachievers who make the resolutions and actually resolve their resolutions, but I rack my brain trying to think of anyone I know who has actually followed through. No one comes to mind and I eat another chocolate donut.

I've come to the conclusion that New Year's resolutions are more setting goals to work towards. I think that's pretty much what resolution means, but it sounds too fancy for me. So this year, I've just set some goals for myself. Maybe by calling them goals, I won't feel like such a failure if I don't follow through on all of them, even though at this moment in time, I really want to, but it might just be the newness of the New Year.

I wrote down 13 goals (you know, since it's 2013) for myself and they're all dependent on me and my attitude, not others. I can either set my mind to work hard and make good choices and possibly achieve some of these goals, or I can just continue on it whatever it is I've been doing.

I'd like to share them with you and perhaps you can pray for me on this journey for 2013, as prayers are always appreciated.

My Goals for 2013:

1. To spend more time with God; to actually make an effort and push for a two way relationship with him; to try and be a more Godly wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, and woman.

2. To be more supportive of my husband and his dreams and goals.

3. To actually act like I care and listen to what Fred is saying; to give him my undivided attention when he asks for it. (That probably sounds somewhat terrible. I do care, but I don't always act it and I want to start making a conscious effort to show that I do.)

4. To be a better and happier individual- in whatever role I'm playing at the time, whether wife, mommy, sister, daughter, friend, or person.

5. To be more patient with Max (and eventually baby girl) and appreciate every single second that I have with him (them).

6. To find a healthier version of myself: eat healthier, be more active, less technology, more reading and crafting; if not for me, then for my husband and kids.

7. To work on getting back in touch with my creative side. Do more crafty things, whether by myself or with others.

8. To blog or journal more.

9. To find something that made me happy each day and write it down before bed.

10. To spend less time on Facebook, useless websites, stupid games, etc. and spend more time with my family. I don't want Max or baby girl to grow up with a mom who is more worried about what's going on on Facebook than she is about what's going on in their lives, what she can do with them, or what she can do for herself.

11. Take more pictures. Start scrapbooking for Max and baby girl, and maybe for myself and Fred. Document our family so when the kids and ourselves get older, we can look back and reminisce.

12. To make Fred, Max, and baby girl know each and every day how much I love them.

13. To embrace my life for what it is and stop comparing it to others and their lives.

I've been blessed with some very special gifts and I need to learn to find joy in those things so much more often.

 

Ringing in a New Year

As 2012 draws to an end, I've been reflecting on what's been one of the best and most challenging years of my life.

 

Seriously. This year was amazing and by far my favorite. Some changes occurred in our lives, not too many. Good ones, mostly. I don't really remember most of the bad ones. Besides, aren't you supposed to focus on the good things anyway?

 

The biggest milestone of this year and the one that makes me choke up every single time I think about it, is the fact that I became a mother. This year, I was blessed with THE most amazing gift that could have been bestowed upon me: my precious baby boy. I've always been a sap, but really, he's made me out-do myself. I have to swallow tears constantly. I have to watch this baby- my baby- change and grow before my very eyes. Gah, I'm tearing up even now. It's amazing how as a mom, I stare at him and remember the moment I first saw him, the first cry that left his lips, the first time his eyes met mine, the first time my fingers touched his silky smooth baby skin, the feel of his tiny sleeping body on mine, listening to his heart, watching his chest rise and fall, realizing that he had become my new obsession and the hard realization that I was responsible for him, now. I was his mommy. Is it normal to see all that almost every time I look at him? I mean, he's almost a year old now, but I still see my tiny, newborn cherub every time I see him and think about how big he's gotten. Does that ever end? I hope not.

 

Another milestone this year, was finding out that we're expecting another child- this time, a baby girl. I'm so nervous, again. You'd think with just having a baby this year, I'd be taking this all in stride. Ha. Nothing could be further from the truth. I had to laugh at my last pre-natal appointment. They asked me if I was feeling her move at all and all I could think was, "I don't know. I think so, but I'm not really sure." With just carrying a baby a few short months ago, you'd think I'd remember what a baby moving around feels like. The doctor looked at Fred and I like we were crazy as we sat there chuckling, together. It's weird to think that this time next year, I'll be the mother of two babies. God, help me.

 

My fondest memories this year, besides all of the ones with Max, are the ones I've shared with my husband. It's crazy how my love for Fred grows more and more each day. Sure, he really drives me crazy sometimes, and I just want him to either shut up or leave me alone, but the fact that he doesn't and that he just keeps on loving me through everything makes me appreciate him even more, especially as we watch relationships around us constantly crumbling. This year has made me so incredibly grateful to the Lord that he knew exactly what I needed when he created Fred, flaws and all. He is truly my best friend, my soul mate, my other half, my lover, my "baby daddy", my leader, my helper, my rock, and all those other sappy things people say about the people they love. I don't think anything could shake my love for him. I mean, he broke my finger this year, and I still love him. ---He broke it by accident when we were judo-ing, -well, trying to wrestle, which probably looked ridiculous. It was fun to say he broke it and see the looks on people's faces.

Babe- if you read this, I can still kick your butt in judo. ;-)

 

There's lot of other good memories of this year, especially with my family and a few close friends, but I'm kind of pressed for time. :-(

 

This years imminent ending makes me anxious for the year to come. Lots of big changes are approaching and my nerves are feeling somewhat raw. Fred leaves for basic training in a little over a month- he'll be away for almost six. We don't know if they'll let him come home when baby girl is born or not. We're praying they do, but who knows? I'm terrified of the possibility of having to deliver a baby without my husband's presence. I'm scared of taking care of two babies without him (I'll have my family, though, so that helps). I'm afraid of the whole moving away from my family process as they are the people I'm closest to. I'm nervous for all the changes that will affect us for the rest of our lives. We just have to keep on reminding ourselves, that God has this all in control. After all He's got the whole world in His hands, right?

 

 

 

Well, that's all I've got for now. I have to go join my family to ring in the new year. 

 

 

 

I wish anyone who reads this a Happy and Healthy Year in 2013.

May your year be as blessed as it can possibly be.

 

 

Changes are coming...

I don't like change.

I never have.

For a couple of examples:

    -When Fred and I first got married, I cried a lot the first few days, because of the huge change of living at home to suddenly living with a man, besides my dad, for the first time in my life. I missed my parents, my sisters, my old room, all of it. Fred was worried. He even at one point said to me, "We shouldn't have gotten married. I shouldn't have taken you away from your family." That made me cry even more. And then I got my act together. Haha.

    -When I found out I was pregnant with Max, I laid in bed at night, worrying all the time. Hours would pass and I would lay there in the darkness waiting for the sun to come up again. How on earth are we going to afford a baby? How are we going to make it work in our tiny apartment? How am I going to be a mother? How am I supposed to take care of a baby, a boy no less?

God has a great sense of humor. Doesn't he?

He's decided to throw even bigger changes our way these last few months. And as usual, I am slightly terrified.

Big Change #1 and #2:

In the beginning of July, Fred was laid off from his job. That's just dandy, huh? Thankfully, his boss looked out for him (sort of) and wrote him a great letter of recommendation and all that. We prayed about it and decided that instead of searching for a job right away, we would take his unemployment compensation until the end of the summer, so that he could spend some quality time with Max and I, before going back full-force into job land. We used this time to pray about where God might be leading him.

After a few weeks, we were laying in bed when Fred rolled over and shared something that he felt the Lord had been laying on his heart- something that he's really wanted to do, since he was a kid.

He wanted to look into enlisting in the military.
...cue my uncontrollable tears.

The discussion didn't end well. It resulted in him apologizing and telling me to forget that he ever brought it up. HA! Fat chance, babe.

We had discussed the military while we were dating, and I had made it clear that I would not be married to a military man.

I rolled over and ignored him for a while and he went to sleep.

Once I heard the deep, steady breathing-I mean, snoring- of my husband, I cried some more- like, for an hour? How could he even think of leaving me for the military? How could he want to leave his family? How could he bear the thought of missing out on parts of Max's life? The questions poured through my brain. I was angry. I was bitter. I was hurt. I was afraid. I didn't want our way of life to change like this. I don't like change, remember? Not even the thought of it. I silently questioned and pleaded with God for what felt like an eternity.

And then I felt peace. And I went to sleep.

A few days went by and we didn't discuss it anymore. I tried to think rationally about it, on my own. I tried to think of all the reasons he shouldn't do it. I tried to think of the pros and the cons. I talked to a few close friends about it. I prayed about it.

I came to a conclusion.

I didn't want to be the reason the he didn't do it.
I didn't want him to look back when we're forty and pull the "If you had just let me do this..."
I didn't want to get in the way of what God wants for him and for our family.

I trust Fred with my life and with the life of my child(ren).
I know he has our family at the top of his priority list.
I know he's not doing something to hurt us.
I know he's looking out for us.

After much consideration and battling of myself, I approached him and brought the subject back to the surface. I poured out what I was feeling and how afraid I was. I cried. He cried. We sat on our kitchen floor and talked about the pros and cons, together. We prayed together. We decided to go and talk to an army recruiter. So, we did.

As of October 3rd, 2012, my husband is enlisted in the U.S. Army. He is supposed to leave February 5th, 2013- four days before Max's first birthday.

Big Change #3:

On August 29th, we got a surprise change to our family.

The kind of change that results in the mother of the family feeling slightly off...

Nauseous...?

Exhausted...?

Growth of the belly...?

The kind of change that makes Max a big brother...
The kind that makes Fred and I the parents of two children.

Ring any bells?
...Yeah, that kind of change.

Fred knocked me up, again.
I'm pregnant.
12 weeks this coming Monday.

Surprised?
Me, too.

Just more proof of God's sense of humor.

I'm due May 6th, 2013.

We had to laugh to ourselves... When we got married, we decided that we weren't going to start trying to have children until at least our 2 year anniversary. We celebrated our 2 year anniversary on September 4th, just 6 days after discovering that I'm pregnant with our second child. Great timing, eh?

We told our immediate family on Labor Day. Get it? Labor Day. We're cheesy like that. We brought Max over to my parents house in a onesie I had made that said "Big Bro." When my sister took him out of the car seat, she saw the shirt and BAM! surprise, everyone. We'll be making it public to everyone else on October 29th.

Big Change #4:

We are in the process of packing up our apartment and moving out.

Where are we moving?

Back to my parent's house, of course. ;-)

We figure its best for our family, right now, and it will really help us with some of the financial burdens we've been shouldering. Not only that, with Fred leaving in February and the baby due in May, I'll have the extra support with Max/pregnancy/the new baby/etc.

We have to be out of our apartment by November 9th. It's crazy how much junk you accumulate in just two years. Eyeroll.

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Food for thought (for myself.)

Through all of these changes, God is showing me all over again- for the millionth time- that I need to trust Him and rely on Him.

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Here's a picture of Max to hold you all over until next time. ;-)

This wife thing gets pretty hard, sometimes.

*Disclaimer: If anyone reads this, this post is not for you to judge either of us. This is revealing that we are not perfect. Our marraige is not perfect. Our lives are not perfect. We are both sinful wretches in need of a change, in need of God's saving grace.
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Things have been different since Max came.

Before, I just had one person, besides me, to take care; only one person I had to pay attention to. I sucked at this wife thing back then, too, but now its even harder.

Before, we would argue, say mean things to each other, make up, move on, and the next week be right back at it.

Before, our arguments didn't really effect anyone, but us.

Before, I could walk out the door, go for a walk, to take a few minutes to cool off and not have to worry about a baby waking up and crying for his mom.

Before, we would aruge about silly things. You don't need to know what our arguments were about. I don't even remember what half of them were about. Just dumb little things.

But- we never ONCE argued about money.

Well, we did the other day. For the first time. It sucked. For the first time, we let the sun really go down while we were angry. For the first time, Fred grabbed a pillow and blanket and went to the couch without me asking him to. For the first time, he didn't sneak back into bed and whisper he was sorry. For the first time, he left for work without giving me a kiss goodbye. All day, it festered in me.

By the time he got home, all hell broke loose in our tiny apartment.

And it was over something, that really, when you think about it, was so stupid. And was handled so wrong. I hurt him. He hurt me. Verbally. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually. I attacked. I belittled him in ways I shouldn't have- in ways I didn't know I could. We spurned each other on in our anger. 

On a slight tangent, Fred is somewhat to blame, but I am more at fault. He is a pacifist. He doesn't hold grudges. He moves on and forgives. He wears his heart on his sleeve. I, on the other hand, am loud, vengeful at times. I don't hold back and play nice. I'm in it for the win. I throw words that I know will bring out his sinful nature, so that I can fall back on that when he wants me to apologize. I twist things without meaning to. My mouth runs faster than my brain. I over-exagerate things that he says and does. I turn into an awful person that I don't even know. (And this whole thing has revealed to me, more than ever before, why I need to change.)

As those awful words spewed out of my mouth, instant regret was burning through my mind- I knew what I was saying and how I was acting was wrong- but it was easier to just keep spewing venom than to rein in my tongue. Even as I watched him fighting back tears, they kept coming.

As we stood there, screaming at each other, it was pretty much war. We both were saying the nastiest things we could think of. It was awful. I felt like I was drowning. I kept searching for a way out, a way to resurface. I knew I should just stop, and apologize, and be at peace with my husband. I knew I should just respond in love and forgiveness, even if he was still throwing his darts at me, I should have just backed down, but I kept going. Screaming. Yelling. Crying. Things being knocked down. Sin twisting our words, scewing our minds, refilling the venom. Over and over.

And then, another cry...

...but neither of ours. Max's. It was the most heart-wrenching thing. He had been napping, but was in the same room with us. He was there for the whole thing. And I've never felt like a more terrible person. I grabbed him and started to cry with him, while Fred stormed around the apartment; the result of my careless words.

For the sake of being honest, and this is hard, I asked told him to leave get out of the apartment. I was seriously, in my mind, kicking him out for a while. I told him he could come back in an hour. I threatened to leave and go to my parents for a while, just to cool off. Of course, he didn't listen and I didn't go.

Instead, the arguing continued, but not in the malicious way it had been before. The arguing ended up in talking, the talking ended up in true feelings and frustrations being poured out, and that ended up in both of us in tears in each others arms, with Max, pulling through the storm.
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As I lay in bed, last night, my mind was racing. Our fight kept playing through my head, reminding me of the awful person I can become and how much I need and want God to change me. I never want to put any of us in that predicament again. This argument, was by far, the worst we've ever had. I never want Max to cry as the result of us fighting. I never want to tear my husband down so much, that I move him to the point of tears.

I have the power to build this man up, or tear him down. The building takes forever, but the knocking him back down takes seconds and can happen without me even realizing it.

I should be taking every opportunity to encourage my husband, and I fail everyday. I complained in another post that I was the worst procrastinator in the world. Well now, I am finding myself to be the worst wife in this world. I'm not taking time to learn about my husband anymore. I'm not displaying an interest in the things he cares about or the dreams he has or who he wants to be. I don't respect him the way I should. I don't listen to his aspirations or thoughts or feelings. I've been a selfish wife. And I need to start putting God first, and then Fred ahead of myself.

I need to be striving to be the wife he needs me to be. His encourager. His helper. I need to be spurning him on in his walk with God. I need to tell him the things I admire about him, not just assume he knows. I need to get over my pride and share my feelings and thoughts with him, which is always a hard thing for me to do. I need to allow him to step up and be the man God desires him to be, the one that deep down I do need.

I need to thank God, not just everyday, but every single chance I get, for the man he provided me with. The man he blessed me with as my husband, my best friend, the father of my child, my protecter, my provider, my sanity at times, my leader, my other half.

On top of all that, I need to be setting an example for my son. Would I want him to marry a woman that acts like me? How can I expect him to have a high standard for the woman he marries, if I can't set that standard to myself? I don't want him to look at me, and see a disrespectful wife. I don't want him to feel insecure in Fred's and my love. I don't want him to fear. I don't want him to have memories of Fred and I throwing horrible, demeaning words at each other while arguing, but rather of us working through the struggles together with the help of God.

My mind was in so many places last night, battling itself.
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My thoughts last night were all over the place. Things were confirmed for me today even more. I came to my parents to do laundry and signed on Pinterest and found quite a few things that really stuck out to me. Things that I really want to remember.

First, was this article of 50 ways to inspire your husband. Alot, of the things really struck me, because I don't even try half the time. I want to take the time to really get to know my husband more. To study him. Spend time with him. Communicate with him. Show him love, not just mine, but God's. To take little steps to remind him of what a great husband and father and friend he is. To encourage him.
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Things to remember for my husband.

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Things to remember for my child(ren).

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My Fredward- I know you read my blogs. I'm sorry for the hurtful things I said to you and the ways I have belittled you and how I act and respond to you. I know they were wrong as I say them. I promise to start trying harder than ever to be the wife you need me to be. Help me.

I love you and I know we will work through anything and everything life throws our way. You are my husband, my best friend, an awesome dad, a hard worker, a steadfast provider, and so many other things. You ARE my dream come true, even when its hard for me to see it. I love you, more than life itself. My life would be empty without you. :-(

I love being your wife. You're greatest gift to me, is the love you have for the Lord, for me, and for our son. I love being a part of your life and watching God mold you into the man you are meant to become. I love that you come home to me each night. I love that you love only me and you put me ahead of yourself. I love that you stick around even through the hard times. I love that when we argue, you always sneak your way back into bed and hold me while I cry. I love that when I wake up in the morning you're there. I love that out of every girl in this world, you chose me to be your bride. I love that you chose me to share your life with. I love that you are the father of our child. I love everything about you, even the flaws, even though I don't always show it.

I love you.

Yours,

alley <3

Forever and Always. <3

Growing like a weed (and of course, a photo bomb.)

Hi. My name is Alex and I am the worst procrastinator in the world. No, seriously. I am. Well, maybe I don't "procrastinate" blogging... I just don't make time to do it, like I long to do, like I should do. For instance, I started this blog LAST Thursday. Then again, what does it matter? I don't think many people read this, anyway.

BUT! ...I am the worst procrastinator.
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Anyways...

My days pretty much blend together right now:

Fred wakes up for work, which wakes Max and I up. Fred changes Max's diaper, brings him to me and I nurse him while Fred gets ready, and Max falls back asleep. Fred gives Max and me a kiss goodbye. He runs out the door for work. I check my Facebook, Babycenter, Draw Something on my phone. I snuggle up with Max- he is one of the best snugglers (he must get it from his dad and me) and go back to sleep. Max wakes up. I wake up. I change his diaper, feed him again. Get up. Get him dressed. Dress myself. Go eat something... or try to. Nurse him again. Go to the bathroom... maybe. We listen to music. We watch movies. He cries. He nurses. He screams. He takes a nap. I try to clean. What? I never know. Just something. It all needs to be cleaned anyway. Something outside (lawn mower, loud car, blasting music, bratty kid, domestic argument of some sort) wakes him up. I change him. I nurse him again. He falls alseep on the couch. I try to clean some more. He wakes up. He nurses again. He screams. He stops. He smiles. He farts. He cracks up laughing. He laughs harder while I wipe the result of those farts that make him laugh so hard. On and on, it goes. You get the cycle. Some days, we got out. We go to my parents or we go shopping or we just go for a walk. We nurse again. He poops again. Fred gets home from work. We eat. We clean. Sometimes. We give Max a bath. I nurse. We get our jammies on. We go to bed. We sleep. And then we do it all over again the next day.

So... it's pretty easy for the days to blend together, I think. Don't you agree? ;-) Don't take all that as a complaint, though. That's definitely not what it is. It gets tiring often, but its all worth it.

One day, I'll have it all together. Nope, scratch that. Who am I kidding? I've never had it together. I didn't have it together before Max was here; I didn't have it together before Fred and I were married--- I've never had it together. I never will. And I'm okay with that. I accept it. I'd be no fun if I had it all together. Where's the spontanaeity in that?! I want to be random, anyway.
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Max is growing like a weed. Some of his 3 month clothing is already getting too tight. People tell you all the time, don't blink or you'll miss something... that it all goes so quickly. And now that I'm living it, I know it to be true. Everytime I look at him, he's different in someway: looks-wise, expression-wise, development-wise, etc. He smiles alot now. He rolled over for the first time, last week. He reaches for the toys that hang on his playmat. He holds eye contact with me. He laughs. He snuggles. It makes me misty-eyed looking at all the photographs I've taken from when he was born until now and seeing how much he's changed. He's 12 weeks, today. He looks like a completely different baby. He looks like his dad on some days, my sister on others. His hair is almost a strawberry blonde and his eyes are a dark grayish-blue. He's happy most of the time and he has his dad and me wrapped around his chubby little fingers. I never thought I could love someone so much. That sounds sooo cliche, but its the truth. And the only reason it sounds cliche is because every mother says it, but then again, I'm sure every mother feels this way about their child... and if they don't, they've got issues.
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Max's first Easter has come and gone. We dressed in nice clothes, went to church, and then celebrated Resurrection Day with family and friends: Max, Mommy, Daddy, Grandma, Grandpop, Grandma K., Grandpa, Aunt Lizzy, Aunt B., Aunt Debi, Uncle Kota, Sheryl, Elsa, Sarah, and Brian. We even posed for some good photographs.

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I've started trying to lose some weight. I've been heavier than I'd like to be for a while now and it's time to do something about it. I want to be active for Max. I want to be able to run around and keep up with him. I don't want to be planted on the couch, eating, and watching TV/reading a book/playing on my phone all day. I want to be outside with him. Teaching him to be active. I don't want to dread doing something that's good for me. I want to be healthy for him and for my future children and for my husband and for me. So, I'm not "dieting" per se. You're not supposed to do that while breastfeeding, I guess. Rather, I'm watching my calories and trying to make healthier choices and lead a more active lifestyle. I've been tracking on "My Fitness Pal" and doing a Biggest Loser workout dvd and going for walks and trying to just be up, moving around more. I started on Monday. So far, so good. I normally start out okay, though, and then I get bored and give up. I'm really gonna try hard, though. So, if you're a praying person... can you pray for me through this? Its much appreciated.

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On that note, Fred and I (and Max, of course) went for a long walk on Monday night and explored our neighborhood some more. We found a old cemetary that we never would have guessed was there. There was one headstone for three children- a 6 year old girl, a baby girl- not even a month old, and a 19 year old boy who was a private in the military during the time of the Korean war. How sad for those parents to lose three of thier children (could have been all of them- who knows). It caused me to hold Max even closer than usual once we got home and whisper a prayer of thanks to the Lord for his life and also a prayer of comfort for those parents if they're still alive.

We also explored the trolley trail for the first time. I don't think many people know about it. I had heard about it years ago, but never knew where it was. Fred and I went to look at a house a couple of weeks ago and saw the trolley trail close-by. So, we checked it out.

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Some Facebook status highlights from the past few weeks:

• April 26th, 2012-

"Max just rolled over from his tummy to his back!

Not cool, young man. I'll have none of this "moving around on your own" stuff, yet. ;-)"

We were sitting on our bed  and I was folding laundry while he was laying on his belly. He's gotten close to rolling over a few time, but always gets stuck at his arm. Well, not that day. He rolled onto his back and chuckled to himself.

• April 24th, 2012-

"Max is having a giggle fest this morning... He's probably reveling that his diabolical plan to keep me and his daddy awake for most of the night was a success."

Need I say more? He was cracking up for 15 minutes straight for no apparent reason.

• April 23rd, 2012-

"I seriously just bawled my eyes out at the end of the Mockingjay book (the last book of the Hunger Games.) No joke. Bawled. :-(

Read the Hunger Games. You won't regret it.

Now to find my tissues. *sniffle*"

Need a good book to read? Check out the Hunger Games. You'll love them. I did. And I'm a picky reader. And all you judgers... get over it. Unless you've read the book, you're not going to understand and have NO right whatsoever to judge it.

• April 23rd, 2012-

"My mom was telling me last night how she had a dream that I was in the hospital having a baby girl and one of my cousins was having twins at the same exact time. Her dream freaked me out so much that I did a pregnancy test this morning, just in case. Haha. Thank God, it was negative. ;-)"

True story. Not that I don't want another baby--- just not yet.

• April 17th, 2012-

"Max has such a good sense of humor. He laughs at my jokes. ;-)"

He does. My jokes are always lousy, but he thinks they're hilarious. Well, he probably laughs more at the tone of voice I use, but its still a confidence booster. LOL.

• April 16th, 2012-

"Max is just like me... miserable when its too hot out. He's been super fussy all day and the only time he acted content was when we were standing in front of the air conditioner. Ha. This is gonna be a long summer. ;-)"

Ugh, it was like 90 degrees out that day. I seriously thought I would die. We both were so incredibly miserable. I don't know if my downstairs neighbors had thier heat on or what. Knowing them... probably. Wierdos. Everytime I would try to nurse Max, we'd both get ticked off at each other because we were sweating like pigs. Glad that day is over. Now for the rest of the hot days coming? Yikes.

• April 12th, 2012-

"LOL, listening to the Children's Indie station on Pandora with Max... and finally learned what the word QAT means!!! I always play it in Scrabble and Words With Friends. Its a small green shrub! Ha! Made my day. Oh, the things that entertain me. ;-)"

This made my day. When Fred and I first started dating, we played a game of Scrabble with his mom. Fred played the word QAT and we got in an argument over whether or not it was a word. Well, needless to say, Fred was right (which is a rarity), and QAT was very much a word, but we never knew what it meant. Leave it to kids music to tell me.

• March 20th, 2012-

"I'm cracking up, right now. Fred and I are eating oreos and milk. I finished mine and was contemplating how to steal one of his. So I said, "Is that a spider?," expecting him to look at the wall while I swiped a cookie. No. My husband got the most terrified look on his face and froze. "Where?" Not the reaction I was looking for, but so worth it. I got that cookie anyway, mid-giggle. ;-)"

Not much more to explain... I think that says it all. 

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Some photographs from the last few weeks... Well, alot.



I discovered a cool app for my phone called Instagram; here's some photos from that:

chilling on the couch.

right after bath time- or in this case, shower- 

his favorite.

This is the day he was cracking up

about keeping Fred and I up all night.

;-)

checking himself out during tummy time.

he fell asleep on our bed while we were

in cleaning over-drive.

how he sleeps in the early morning light;

so precious. <3

All Right, photo bomb from my phone:

watching "How To Train Your Dragon" while

I clean a bit.

I got this for 25 cents at a yard sale.

Good deal? 

Me and the love of my life on Easter morning. <3

Easter Sunday.

Easter Sunday.

His first "caught on camera" smile.

His first time wearing a bib-

he wasn't sure what to make of it.

This is how to get him to take a nap. ;-)

He loves his bumbo.

My bed has been over-run with boys. ;-)

He's ready for the beach, dontcha think?

He's finally starting to enjoy tolerate tummy time.

*Gulp* There ya go. I won't make you suffer peek through pictures of adorableness anymore.

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Til next time...