Changes are coming...

I don't like change.

I never have.

For a couple of examples:

    -When Fred and I first got married, I cried a lot the first few days, because of the huge change of living at home to suddenly living with a man, besides my dad, for the first time in my life. I missed my parents, my sisters, my old room, all of it. Fred was worried. He even at one point said to me, "We shouldn't have gotten married. I shouldn't have taken you away from your family." That made me cry even more. And then I got my act together. Haha.

    -When I found out I was pregnant with Max, I laid in bed at night, worrying all the time. Hours would pass and I would lay there in the darkness waiting for the sun to come up again. How on earth are we going to afford a baby? How are we going to make it work in our tiny apartment? How am I going to be a mother? How am I supposed to take care of a baby, a boy no less?

God has a great sense of humor. Doesn't he?

He's decided to throw even bigger changes our way these last few months. And as usual, I am slightly terrified.

Big Change #1 and #2:

In the beginning of July, Fred was laid off from his job. That's just dandy, huh? Thankfully, his boss looked out for him (sort of) and wrote him a great letter of recommendation and all that. We prayed about it and decided that instead of searching for a job right away, we would take his unemployment compensation until the end of the summer, so that he could spend some quality time with Max and I, before going back full-force into job land. We used this time to pray about where God might be leading him.

After a few weeks, we were laying in bed when Fred rolled over and shared something that he felt the Lord had been laying on his heart- something that he's really wanted to do, since he was a kid.

He wanted to look into enlisting in the military.
...cue my uncontrollable tears.

The discussion didn't end well. It resulted in him apologizing and telling me to forget that he ever brought it up. HA! Fat chance, babe.

We had discussed the military while we were dating, and I had made it clear that I would not be married to a military man.

I rolled over and ignored him for a while and he went to sleep.

Once I heard the deep, steady breathing-I mean, snoring- of my husband, I cried some more- like, for an hour? How could he even think of leaving me for the military? How could he want to leave his family? How could he bear the thought of missing out on parts of Max's life? The questions poured through my brain. I was angry. I was bitter. I was hurt. I was afraid. I didn't want our way of life to change like this. I don't like change, remember? Not even the thought of it. I silently questioned and pleaded with God for what felt like an eternity.

And then I felt peace. And I went to sleep.

A few days went by and we didn't discuss it anymore. I tried to think rationally about it, on my own. I tried to think of all the reasons he shouldn't do it. I tried to think of the pros and the cons. I talked to a few close friends about it. I prayed about it.

I came to a conclusion.

I didn't want to be the reason the he didn't do it.
I didn't want him to look back when we're forty and pull the "If you had just let me do this..."
I didn't want to get in the way of what God wants for him and for our family.

I trust Fred with my life and with the life of my child(ren).
I know he has our family at the top of his priority list.
I know he's not doing something to hurt us.
I know he's looking out for us.

After much consideration and battling of myself, I approached him and brought the subject back to the surface. I poured out what I was feeling and how afraid I was. I cried. He cried. We sat on our kitchen floor and talked about the pros and cons, together. We prayed together. We decided to go and talk to an army recruiter. So, we did.

As of October 3rd, 2012, my husband is enlisted in the U.S. Army. He is supposed to leave February 5th, 2013- four days before Max's first birthday.

Big Change #3:

On August 29th, we got a surprise change to our family.

The kind of change that results in the mother of the family feeling slightly off...

Nauseous...?

Exhausted...?

Growth of the belly...?

The kind of change that makes Max a big brother...
The kind that makes Fred and I the parents of two children.

Ring any bells?
...Yeah, that kind of change.

Fred knocked me up, again.
I'm pregnant.
12 weeks this coming Monday.

Surprised?
Me, too.

Just more proof of God's sense of humor.

I'm due May 6th, 2013.

We had to laugh to ourselves... When we got married, we decided that we weren't going to start trying to have children until at least our 2 year anniversary. We celebrated our 2 year anniversary on September 4th, just 6 days after discovering that I'm pregnant with our second child. Great timing, eh?

We told our immediate family on Labor Day. Get it? Labor Day. We're cheesy like that. We brought Max over to my parents house in a onesie I had made that said "Big Bro." When my sister took him out of the car seat, she saw the shirt and BAM! surprise, everyone. We'll be making it public to everyone else on October 29th.

Big Change #4:

We are in the process of packing up our apartment and moving out.

Where are we moving?

Back to my parent's house, of course. ;-)

We figure its best for our family, right now, and it will really help us with some of the financial burdens we've been shouldering. Not only that, with Fred leaving in February and the baby due in May, I'll have the extra support with Max/pregnancy/the new baby/etc.

We have to be out of our apartment by November 9th. It's crazy how much junk you accumulate in just two years. Eyeroll.

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Food for thought (for myself.)

Through all of these changes, God is showing me all over again- for the millionth time- that I need to trust Him and rely on Him.

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Here's a picture of Max to hold you all over until next time. ;-)