;<<< Maxed-Out Mommyyy: Happy "Grati-Tuesday"! Oh, and it's my due date!!!

Today is my due date. Finally. Nine long months of waiting, only to be faced with some more waiting. The anticipation, excitement, and anxiety are practically eating me away.

A part of me dreads going into labor- I lay in bed at night, once Fred falls asleep, staring into the darkness, sometimes weeping, thinking to myself that within the next few days I'll have gone into labor, gone through the pain of childbirth, the whole emotional roller coaster that goes along with it, hold our baby boy, bring him home, finally see what he looks like, etc. and I am terrified. I don't feel completely ready. In just a few short days there will be another person in our tiny family, one that we're responsible for.

The other part of me just wants it to happen and have it done and over with. I've never imagined that I could be sooo completely uncomfortable. Every move I try to make, everything pops. Rolling over in bed at night takes me a good 5 minutes, and as embarrassing as it is, I sometimes have to wake Fred up to help me. Putting on socks by myself? Yeah, that's pretty much a thing of the past. The discomfort has put me over the edge. I just want him out. I want to be finished being pregnant.

I keep trying to remind myself that I CAN do it. I keep asking myself how many women have gone before me and gotten through it and then gone on to do it again? I keep telling myself that my body is created for this. God specially designed me for this. I'll pull through.

...it's still terrifying.

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Anyways, with all the complaints I've had lately, I feel I should post some things I'm thankful for.

1. My husband- He is amazing. And I don't show my appreciation for him often enough. I find new things I love about him each day. God reminds me each day just how lucky I am to be with him. I don't know how my life would be without him and now with our baby almost here, my love keeps getting stronger and I can't wait to see him as a daddy.

"I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow."

2. My family- I am so thankful for them and I know Fred is, too. My parents set such an amazing, Godly example for Fred and I to live up to and I'm so glad that God hand-picked them for me so that we can have somewhat of an idea of how to raise our kids the right way. My mom and sisters are beyond anything I could ever want in a friend. People may look down on it, but they are truly my best friends, despite our age differences. There's no one, besides Fred, that I would rather spend my time with.

3. My son- I am so grateful that God has blessed me with a healthy pregnancy and soon to be a healthy baby boy. I listen to the struggles of others with their pregnancies, and I know that I've had it easy. I've had zero complications, the doctors have even jokingly told me how boring my pregnancy is.

Some photos from the last nine months:

The day I found out- 5 1/2 weeks.

When I told Fred (the day after I found out) I had taken 3 pregnancy tests because I just didn't believe it. He had just gotten home from work. Surprise, honey! xp